How to Strike the Right Work/Play Balance
Continuing our series focusing on caring for your mental wellness in the summer, this week we are talking about how to strike a healthy work/play balance.
It isn’t as easy as you would think, right? You know you want to make the most of your summer, but there are also all sorts of demands on your time and energy, and some of them are out of your control.
You want to catch up on sleep, be outdoors, and do all the fun things that summer brings, but you still have to manage your parents’ expectations, consider any academic tasks you might need to knock out, and very possibly need to be working to increase the bottom line in your bank account.
Let’s talk about how you might attack all of the things, and strike a work/play balance you love this summer!
First: what are your parents’ expectations of you and do you need to have a conversation about it?
Hopefully your home life includes reasonable adults who are holding you to high standards of being a productive citizen and family member… with an emphasis on reasonable!
Meaning: you may have things you’re expected to do at home like chores or help with siblings or even have a summer job.
And as long as their expectations allow for you to still get caught up on your sleep and enjoy the things you want to do, then these have to’s are great for you.
Even if you don’t love chores or helping with siblings (who does?!), hopefully their expectations are reasonable and you are able to see that the things that they ask of you do indeed help you to be a productive citizen and family member and feel good about doing your part to contribute.
And what if you feel their expectations aren’t reasonable?
First- maybe just take a moment and really dig in on what they are asking. Does it require a half an hour a day? Or does it require three or four hours a day and you’re exhausted and unable to hold down a job or spend time with friends?
If their expectations feel like a nuisance (like chores often do) but you’ve still got the vast majority of your day to yourself, then it might be good to just put it in perspective, recognize that you can accomplish what they ask with relative ease, put your head down, and get it done.
But if their expectations do in fact interfere with your ability to get adequate rest and/or hold down a job and/or spend time with friends, then it’s a good time to pull out your “I statements” and try to have a heart to heart with them.
Difficult conversations are a life skill, so try to look at practicing on what are hopefully some safe adults as an opportunity rather than a headache.
When you are both (or all) calm, maybe at dinner, simply try on some of your “I statements” and see if you can open some rational and reasonable negotiations.
You might try:
“I respect that you need me to help out around here, and I want to do my part. I am wondering if we can discuss your expectations and perhaps look at changing some of my chores so that I can still spend time with friends/ get a job/ get decent rest.”
The more you can stay calm and patient and present your position, the greater the chance you’ll all come out of the conversation feeling good about the outcome- and maybe you can even gain a little more respect from your parents!
And if this is an area where you struggle in your household, please know this is a safe topic to bring to one of our workshops! Every workshop is an open opportunity to bring whatever is on your heart and mind, no topic is off limits, and we want to support you!
Find out when the next workshop is by signing up for emails or following our Instagram, below!
Second: what are your goals?
Even if you haven’t yet put words to it, we bet you would admit: you want to feel some sense of accomplishment and purpose this summer!
Of course you want to make memories and enjoy some down time!
But think about it: how much more fun is fun when you know you’ve take care of the things you know you want to accomplish or get done?
In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” Steven Covey calls it “Putting first things first,” and it’s an idea that has a lot of merit.
If you spend your summer aware of the things you want to accomplish and then put those things first, you’ll not only wrap up your summer with a sense of satisfaction, but you’ll be able to plan each week and even each day around those ‘first things,’ which means that after they’re done, your time is allllll yours do do with whatever you want!
Fun is so much more fun when there’s nothing hanging over your head!
So absolutely, summer should be about a break!
But it can also be a time to take care of some of those tasks you maybe neglect during the school year.
If you’re not sure where to start, think about things like:
Finally organizing your room.
All school year you just accumulate mess and chaos. You’ve got clothes in your closet you haven’t worn in two years or don’t even fit you. You have stuff under your bed that you put there when you were in elementary school.
Whether it’s a project that you slowly chip away at all summer, or one you knock out in a long marathon day, we promise it will be a satisfying one!
Thinking about the college search (or whatever your post high school goals include!)
You know you have to figure it out sooner or later, so why not spend some time on it now? Your school likely has resources online that you can use, and if not there’s good old Google.
This doesn’t have to be stressful or high pressure! In fact, doing it in the summer in your free time is how you keep it low key.
If this is a goal, you could tell yourself you’ll do 20 minutes of research a week, for example. And if you find that it’s more interesting than you thought, you can always spend more!
Working on your craft, whether it’s in sport or performing art or art or your job
Whatever you love during the school year, there’s no reason not to spend some time on it in the summer- if it feels right and you want to keep getting better at it!
So maybe you take a soccer clinic, or you just spend a little time each day juggling.
Or maybe you take an art class, or just put on music and spend some time creating.
Or maybe you want to get a promotion at work, so you do a little research on how to be a better employee.
Up to you! It’s your summer so it should be your goals!
Focusing on some of your weaker areas academically- read more books, play math games
If you know that math is an area where each year you feel frustrated and overwhelmed, try to find a way to work on your math skills through online games. Feels like fun but it’s helping!
Or you want to work on your writing skills- you can do it by journaling or even just by reading books!
Building a fitness habit
With a looser schedule in the summer, you could try to build a fitness habit! No one ever said, “I wish I never got hooked on feeling good from exercising,” right?
So think about: what is the smallest amount of time you could commit to? Fifteen minutes a day? Twenty? Whatever it is, commit to it and start making it a habit, so that when school starts back up, you will become hooked on that positive feeling you get, and want to stick with it!
Come up with your own!
As always, these are just a few suggestions! After reading these you may know there’s one or two you want to add in this summer, or you may have an idea that’s popped up for you!
Now, how do you strike the right work/play balance?
So we’ve discussed some of the things you might want to work on this summer.
We’ve acknowledged you may have family responsibilities, and how to hopefully make sure they’re reasonable.
You already know what fun and rest looks like, right?
So now, how can you build your schedule so you feel awesome about your work/play balance?
Adopt one or two (or a few) broad goals
After reading the above, hopefully you now have a few things you’d like to accomplish this summer.
Go ahead and commit to yourself and write them down.
You can write them in a note, on a 3×5 card you post on your mirror, in your planner or journal or your calendar.
Next: set some weekly or daily goals
Now put those goals into motion by determining how you can accomplish them.
Is it something where you want to commit to “X” hours per week?
Or is it “Organize room the week of (fill in week)”?
Take some time with this. Give yourself the gift of planning, so that you can give yourself the sense of accomplishment.
And then put your head down and put first things first!
A few tips about work/play balance:
It’s about you, making you proud.
The whole goal here is to give you something to feel great about.
You might feel a sense of accomplishment from five minutes a day.
Or you may want to give yourself a project a week.
This is about the future you saying “good job” to you.
So forget what anyone else is doing this summer and focus on what will make you proud of you!
You can always edit.
Since it’s all about you and your goals, you get to shift if it doesn’t feel right anymore!
Thought you wanted to train for a 5K? And now, three weeks in, you realize you hate running but love walking? Then change it up!
You can always edit.
And finally: don’t forget to form some goals around fun!
We’re going to share a summer bucket list in an upcoming post, so look for that, but there’s nothing wrong (there’s actually a lot RIGHT) about setting goals about what memories you want to make this summer!
Because if you’re putting first things first, and making yourself proud, those fun outings will be soooo much more fun and satisfying!
And as always, we are here for you and want to support you towards whatever your goals are, and towards the ideal work/play balance that supports your mental wellness!
We hope you’ll consider joining us for an upcoming workshop- again, just share your email with us below, or follow us on Instagram!