An Introduction to ACT Therapy

Before we dive in, I would like to just speak on a personal level about ACT therapy. I promise this will be quick!

I first trained in counseling in the 1990’s, and while ACT (Acceptance and Commitment) therapy existed then, it wasn’t a part of most graduate degree programs. So for over two decades, it wasn’t a part of my own toolbox, whether doing personal work on myself or professionally helping others. 

But wow, how I wish it had been, because it is a truly beautiful framework, that honors the challenges we all face every day, while offering powerful tools to handle those challenges. 

So let’s discuss! This will be a series of posts, so this post will be a quick overview.

First, the aim of ACT: 

The aim of ACT is to live a rich, full, and meaningful life while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it.

Did you catch that? The whole overarching goal is to live the life you want while accepting that life is hard! 

Different, right? It really is! Let’s just start with the fact that ACT therapy acknowledges: life can be painful. 

Rather than trying to help you run away from pain, ACT therapy is about looking right at it and calling it what it is.

There are three myths that will make life miserable if we cling to them, and many of us do.

Myth #1: The normal state for humans is happiness.

This myth says that we should be happy. Happiness should be the default. If you have your physical needs met, then why would you not be happy? 

The truth: our emotions are like the weather. We will face disappointment and hurt, and that can cause us to feel sad. We will face uncertainty, and that can cause us to feel anxious. 

Myth #2: Happiness means feeling good.

You’ve heard it and you may even have said it: “I just want to be happy.” Or parents may say, “I just want my child to be happy.” 

And when we say “happy” what we mean is a state of pleasure or contentment. 

But lasting happiness, being happy all of the time? It’s not realistic, or even possible.

The truth: if we define happiness as living a rich and meaningful life while experiencing a wide range of emotions, that is indeed possible. 

And an additional truth: facing challenges and rising to meet them, even with the discomfort, is how life can be deeply fulfilling. Therefore, happiness can be a byproduct of moving through discomfort! 

Myth #3: If you’re not happy, there’s something wrong with you.

And by extension: if you’re not happy, you should be on medication to fix it.

The truth: if you’re not happy, and you experience pain and sadness and disappointment… you are living your life and existing in this world. In other words, as much as I am not a fan of the word “normal,” if you are sometimes not happy, you are normal.

Maybe it’s just me, but there is something really liberating about hearing that it’s okay if you experience all the emotions. 

For decades we’ve been taught that we should just be happy and to just be happy we needed to run away from painful thoughts and feelings.

The problem with running away from painful feelings is that it doesn’t work.

First: running away from painful feelings often means using unhealthy coping mechanisms. Unhealthy coping mechanisms look like:

• Being angry when you are truly sad, and taking that anger out on others, or yourself. 
• Self-medicating or numbing with drugs, alcohol, self-harm, or any number of harmful behaviors that distract you. For a little bit. 
• Distracting yourself with activities that might be considered healthy or positive, like working harder, perfectionism, and striving. Yes, trying to be good at something is positive, but not when it is a way of running away from something else!

And why do these unhealthy coping mechanisms not work? Because after you’re done self-medicating or self-harming or even striving, the feelings are still there. And you haven’t addressed them. So they become even bigger and more challenging than if you had addressed them.

How is ACT different? ACT is about acknowledging and even embracing negative thoughts and emotions.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? 

But here’s the truth: we really have two choices. We can run, or we can stay put. 

When you stay put with negative thoughts and emotions, it provides an opportunity to gain tools and learn how to live a rich and full and meaningful life.

So to summarize a broad overview of ACT therapy:

ACT therapy, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, is different than many traditional therapies in that the goal is not to change thoughts or feelings, but rather to: 

Accept the things that occur, as well as the feelings and thoughts that arise surrounding them, so that;

You can reduce unhealthy behaviors and patterns designed to avoid negative thoughts and feelings, and then you will be able to:

Take committed action to live a rich and fulfilling life, in alignment with your values.

It’s different, and that’s a good thing!

And in upcoming posts we will talk about the many wonderful tools and resources that can help you achieve that rich and fulfilling and meaningful life, even while life continues to challenge you- because it will!

If you’d like to learn more about how ACT therapy can help you, or see how we incorporate it into our workshops, you can email us here or sign up below to get our emails sent to you! 

As always- never hesitate to message us with questions!